For You Forever.

When you fall away from the world you'd think that someone would look for you. You try and hold on to the smoke of the people who had once loved you. They barely notice you're gone. They miss who you had been, yet they have no room for who you are now. So you are left to look for new faces. For new people to accept you. It's not the same it never can be. But it can be better. Because who wants to say the best years of their lives had been when they were young, instead of every moment? I want mine to be every moment. So I walk on. I find myself. I walk the line I have drawn for myself. I'll look for you, I'll find you despite who we were. I smile at the memories of you. We have grown apart, but we can grow back together. Do you remember how it had once been? Before evrything changed? Life changes we all know that. It changes us, it changes everything all around us. Yet we look for the constants that do not exist. So we smile and walk on. You will always special, and I often I find myself wishing that you still were the most important person in my life. I love you. I always have. Your disappearance is just like all the others. I told you. I was just telling you how it went. I pleaded with you to listen to hold me close. I'm sorry. I let you down. It's my fault too, I faded away from you. I tried to save myself. It was wrong. I miss you. Sweetheart... I miss everything about you. Your smile, you laugh, your temper. All of you. Everything I love about you, everything that drives me crazy. All that makes you, you. I miss that. I love that. I won't be gone for long. You can bet on that. I will always have that one corner of your heart. Just as you have mine. Always. Forever is a long time. And I always meant it. Even when life tried to change things. Forever love. For you, forever. Anything for you. Anything for forever. The smoke is heavy, but it's far away. I can look at it from afar, and not feel the pain of the flames underneath. I can look at it and remember our passions. I can smile now. And this smile is far more wise than the smile you once saw. I love you. Is that wise? To love some one who doesn't exist anymore? But then again I love who you have become.

Come Morning After Coming Home

It was a cold night, his gaze made it colder still. There was no where to go. There was nothing left for me, but him. I'm sorry of all the things that came to be that led me here. My own desparation, my mother's despair, his passion. Life's sweet challenge and adventure that tasted bitter in my mouth, my soul. He kissed me, and the chills fell away. He always did this. He made me feel safe behind the stone walls and the door I could barely open. I was weak, society demanded I be. They demanded that I be subdued, and less than that of my husband. The heat of his skin, sent waves through me. As much as he scared me, as much as I feared him. I craved him, I wanted and needed him. I hated him for it, just as I loved him for it. I never refused him, I never would. His touch was caring and sensual. As he led me down the hall to our door, to the door. It was adorned with ornate carvings. It was the door I couldn't move. He opened it with ease and led me inside. As he undid the laces, I became more than a trophy for him, I became a person once again. I became flesh to touch. I was now more than a doll dressed to impress the world, the ones above and below us. He became a husband, a friend. His smile was warming, his gaze no longer cold from the days he spent away from me. His skin was sacarred and warm as I ran my fingers over it. He pulled me against him, and held me as if I meant the world to him, as if I was the one that made him human. Maybe I was. He was my pillar of stregnth. He was my wall of protection. I was his humanity. There was my hope. I was his. He was my saviour. He kissed me again, and the world fell away. He was a man, and I was just a woman. He was no longer a lord of the far north, hidden from society by great forests and mountains. I was no longer just his lady, I no longer had nothing I had him. The fire in the room roared, and not just the one in the hearth. Come morning, the snow had fallen outside. And we were both happy in each other's arms.