In this moment all we have is ourselves, the thought eased into her mind. Gracefully it tainted her brain and all she wanted to do was catch him and never let him go. All she needed was for him to turn around, so she could kiss him. So their souls could meld into one.
In a breathe the distance was gone, and her small frame was in his arms, he felt as the tension released in her back and she melted against him.

Alter Egos

Yes, an alternate universe. I know I know. It's a bad idea. But it's going to be so much fun! I am so excited. I might post some of it here. But I just wanted to let you know my new project its so much fun! I even have an artist to help me with images and graphics! So if I'm not on for awhile you know why. I'm trying to get better about writing on here though.

Love Her More Anyway

I promised her that this is goodbye

So you're out of my life.

I'm free!

By the way she put herself on the line for me.

Which is definitely more than you could ever say

Robert Herrick

Upon Julia's Clothes

Whenas in silks my Julia goes,
Then then, methinks, how sweetly it flows
That liquefaction of her clothes.

Next, when I cast mine eyes, and see
That brave vibration, each way free,
O how that glittering taketh me!

-1648

Hemingway

Happy New Year!

It is a little belated but still Happy New Year!

Alone in a Roomful

We all tell stories. And each story tells a bit a bit about us. Each story becomes part of our story in its own way. We all want our stories to be heard. We all want someone to care. We want to to tell. We just want one person, one person, to care enough to listen. Or have that one person want to share their story with ours. We as humans are not meant to live alone, and yet we always are. Alone in a roomful of people. Sometimes when we're lucky we find someone who breaks through that bubble and they allow us to live. For a moment we can taste fresh air. But it's not long until we wait for them to leave. Because we can't trust that they'll stay.

Lunch Time

His stomached rumbled in anticipation as he walked up to the battered front door. Burbled laughter invaded the quiet winter air, from inside the house. The man smiled to himself at the care free sound, which was followed by the deep howl. When he opened the door he was greeted by his favorite grey monstrosity his wife called a dog. Around the corner, his smiling children came running, laughing at whatever it is children laugh about when conspiring together. "Daddy!" His little girl cried, her little eyes twinkling and every golden girl bounced with each twittering movement. He swept her up into his arms for one of their bear hugs, as her older brother took their father's hand and together the troublesome trio ventured into Mother's domain. At the sight of pb&j sandwiches the children abandoned their father to appease the grumbly monster in their tummies.

"Hello beautiful" With his hands on her waist he kissed her neck and watched curiously as she made his Reuben sandwich.

"Hey there." Together they sat down at the table with their children. As he ate, he listened to the whispers of their children, and watched his wife pick at her own sandwich.  Dark rings framed her honey colored eyes. Those striking eyes held his and a smile grew on her face. She always did that. He would worry and she would just smile. The world around them stopped, the kids might as well have been on mute with the rest of the world. All that mattered was her. They were going to fight until the end,  just like they always had. It's simply who she was. 

He didn't know how to help her eat when she could barely stand the smell of food. Morning sickness always did that too her. And those rings around her eyes were just too dark , she needed sleep she was restless at night and exhausted during the day. But they would survive, they always did. Her smile grew a little brighter when their children ran from the table, talking about some mystical far away land, no doubt they had built in the den with couch cushions. This was what living was, sharing life with her.
"Finish your lunch dear, before you're late getting back to work" she said before biting into he own lunch.

Novel

I put my unfinished NaNoWriMo up here on my pages bar (:

One Word

NaNoWriMo. That is all. (:

Second Best

"Why don't you ever call me?" She asked.
"I'm busy honey."
"You text me but you never call."
"Texting is easier."
"No. You call her." He simply looked at her, she took a step back away from the intensity of his gaze.
"And?" He saw the tears in her eyes but it meant nothing. Maybe they would have made some impact if she hadn't been complaining in his eyes.
"You're my boyfriend." The possession in her voice only irritated him more.
"She's my best friend, and the only reason you're my girlfriend is because she's gone. You're second best compared to her. And the best compared to everyone else."
"You're an ass."
"You're a bitch. I like you but she's better."
"Then why are you with me? If I'm such a bitch."
"Because I like you when you're not complaining. When you're cool."
"You mean when I let you do what you want?"
"When you're not bitching and moaning about some rumor about us.There are always going to be rumors, and they are always wrong. She tried to tell you. You just called her crazy."
"She texts you everyday!"
"I text her first."
"What the fuck?" She screamed. "What the fuck?"
"She's my best friend."
"What am I?"
"Second best."
"That's it?"
"Yeah."
"Bye." Walking away, she cried, and waited for him to say something. When she turned back he was gone. She only cried harder. Every time she saw him it hurt, every time he saw her, he thought about the irl he breathed for and how it wasn't the girl who walked away.

A Love Twisted Cruelly

The shy knock was deafening, for it held desperately onto the disappointed air. The printed letter was delivered over the threshold. A unformed ending, the ink made of nothing but lies and both women knew it. One of which wanted nothing more than to forget, while the other wanted nothing more than to remember. The girl's tears fell to wash away the shame. The older woman longed to reach out and hold the broken, weary, girl before her, and cry along with her, to say sorry for what was being done, what had to be done, and above all what had to happen.A deed done out of love, the steep price was going to be paid in full. This girl before her asked her for nothing but her help. Yet out of shame, desperation and disappointment she was turned away  to walk into the fading rain. To hope justice would be done for this lovely girl; one silent tear fell for the girl who had been treated as a daughter. The typed words meant everything, but the feelings behind them were hallow and were in fact nothing, a sham, an act to please the world. The ever present audience. The young woman, once off the steps looked over her shoulder for the briefest moment, her face was proud even as te tears mingled with the rain sliding down her cheek. She smiled sadly, and raised her hand in a final farewell. She turned again to walk away from a home that still loved her, a home she still loved. A place the world demanded to turn out the daughter they'd taken in. Holding her head up high she walked on to take on the world at it's worst. She dared the world to stop her.

I Pray...

A smile for the world to see
The sunshine a simple fantasy
A constant rain washes the pain away
All the while I pray
For nothing
I dream of an escape
From my ill twisted fate
Of broken promises
And monster wearing human faces
The war I wage is silent
Denial, rebellion, and pain
Somehow my heart stays intact
As the shell is ripped away
Each new slit a thrilling victory, a new promise made
One day the end will come
How I wish it were today
But somehow I hold back
To last a little longer
Why? I ask myself
But I don't know
Each breath
A painful blow
When will it end?
This pain?
When I am dead?
No.
When you're with me.

What We Were

Do you remember?
Do you remember someone like me?
Do you remember me?

From all those years ago,
When once upon a time meant happily ever after,
When we were friends,
When that meant forever,
When life was simple,
We were learning who we were,
Becoming who we are,
What chances we dared to take,
When mistakes were all we seemed to make.

When we were young,
Do you remember me?
We were friends,
Until the end.

You had a smile to light the town,
I had everything that mattered,
I had friends like you,
We were a family,
Split apart,
Forced to Depart.

We tried to hold on,
To last to the end,
But we faded away,
Look at what we were!

Another Love Story

Like so many love stories theirs started with a kiss, but unlike those many others their's was not one of passion or rather passion they shared for each other, at least at first.

When it began, he hadn't seen her smile for so long. They had been friends for years, it was as if there wasn't a time before he knew her.

His day at work had been much longer than he could have imagined, and he was looking forward to much needed sleep even if it was only five in the evening. His knee was killing him as he walked across the lot to his car, and there she was sitting on the hood of his car, smiling exactly how he remembered her. She was waiting for him, and with that thought he could smile back at her even after he day he had. He walked right up to her until they were toe to toe He felt her happiness as she threw her arms around his neck, picking her up he spun her around making her laugh. God, how he loved that laugh, it really was carefree.

"I've missed you." She whispered in his ear just before he set her down. He felt her smile against his ear as she said it.

"I've missed you too." He replied as he fought at the emotions he prayed had died. "How'd you get here?"

"I walked silly." He chuckled. He missed how simple she made her complicated life, for her there was only today. There was right and there was wrong. She didn't always do what was right but she never really tried to justify her actions. But most of all she loved as she pleased, if ever she said I love you, one could count on her to mean it, always. She said it a lot but it never diminished the meaning of the words. She did love you.

"Have you eaten yet?" She shook her head and he chuckled again softly. "Alright neither have I. How does pizza sound?"

"Sounds good, as long as I get to have one to myself." She said laughing at her own joke, although she hadn't been kidding at the whole pizza he knew all too well that she could eat that much and did on a daily business. That she had such a high metabolism just wasn't fair. It was just like old times as they got into his car.

He looked over at her and saw her smiling at him, again he smiled back at her, as he tried to remember how to start the car. After a second of feeling like he was back in middle school he manage to turn the key. He was grateful she pretended to be oblivious, just as she always did whenever she remembered his crush on her. He knew she didn't return that particular feeling, but there was an undercurrent that was more than affection, he also knew that she needed him. She needed the friendship they shared, being simply friends. There was no one else like him in her life and he knew it.

" Hey my parents aren't home, they're in Michigan visiting my sister. Do you mind?"

"No, of course not. I trust you. Your parents won't mind?"

"They love you."

"That doesn't answer the question, but that's good."

"Okay they trust you more than they trust me so yeah they'll be okay with it."

"They trust me? Wow. Haven't heard that in awhile." As they drove on he though of why he loved her, how he missed how she didn't feel the need to prattle on endlessly just to fill the silence. How they loved the same music and books. How she just understood. She took him for what he was and didn't hold it against him.

"What kind of pizza do you want?"

"Did you really just ask that?"

"Meat lovers then?"

"Of course!"If nothing else they were friends because of their mutual love of food. Not that you could tell that by looking at either of them. 

"Okay." He said laughing some more. " I'm gonna change and then I'll call in our order." He siad as they pulled into his driveway, he opened his front door  and was glad that his parents left that morning. Since he had worked all day the house was still clean. Then he heard her phone ring.

"Hey, I have to take this." With a smile she slipped out the back door, she waved at him as the glass door slid shut before turning to face the pool. He smiled weakly back at her before he turned to race up the stairs grabbing the handset as he went.

It didn't take him long to change into clothes he could only assume were clean,and call their favourite pizza place for two large meat lovers. Bounding down the stairs, he was glad to see she was still on the phone. He watched as she paced back and forth out of habit and how she talked with her only free hand. He watched her laugh and make faces at whoever she was talking to. Smiling to herself she hung up and headed to the door. It was then that she noticed him.He opened the door with a smile.

"Thanks. How long were you standing there?" She asked as the door clicked shut behind her.

"Only a few seconds. I can't believe you still talk with your hands." He was surprised to see her blush, before he recalled how self conscious she was.

"Yeah. I do..." She said with a shy smile.

"You up for a game of Halo?"

"You'll win."

"Just like old times then." He replied as she playfully punched him. Well it was playfully light to her, but it would leave a bruise. He never understood how a girl as little as her could punch so hard. Jumping over the back of his couch he feigned impatience as she walked around grabbing the controllers as she went. Gently she tossed on to him as she sank down into the cushions. It was in moments like that, that he was reminded of just how small she really was. She always seemed bigger, her personality filled the entire room.In a way it made it impossible for him to describe her as fragile but she was perhaps more so than he had ever imagined.

As he navigated them through the matches the distance that had separated them and all those years spent apart disappeared. It was as if nothing had happened at  all. But then again he saw everything that had changed. She was more subdued when she lost, she wouldn't throw a pillow at him, she didn't yell at her controller as loud or as often as she had done in the past. But she was just as ridiculously competitive if not more so. She didn't die nearly as much as she used to and she had more kills in the end than he did which was almost a hit to his ego.

When the doorbell rang they both forgot their game and raced the the door. Grabbing her waist right as they got to the front hall he picked her up and held her feet off the ground, laughing she opened the door taking the pizza as he gave the pizza guy the money. They shut the door laughing so hard they were just a bout crying.

"Will you put me down?" Her tone was no longer laughing, something was on her mind, but he knew better than to ask. Once upon a time she had been taller than him, now he was almost a foot taller than her 5'3". She set the boxes down on the counter as he set her feet back down on the floor. Before he knew what had happened she wrapped her arms around him it was just like what it used to be yet so much more. There was something new, it was as if she didn't want to let go.  He hugged her back, holding her close.

" I really missed you." She said into his shirt, her nose buried into the cotton, he smelled good, so good.

"I really missed you too." She smiled into his shirt, she loved the way she could feel the rumble of his voice. She adored how deep it had become. She looked up at him and her smile only grew.

Impulse took over, before he could stop himself he kissed her. On her toes she stretched up to meet him.  She'd known that this would happen and even though she knew the consequences she didn't dare stop nor did she want to. I don't want to hurt him, she thought, I love him too much.She smiled, and at the smile he felt on her lips he deepened the kiss and she felt her mind slip away as she relaxed into his arms.

He picked her up again but this time he sat her down on the counter, she hooked an ankle around his knee and ran her fingers through his hair.

She pulled away to look at him in the eyes. "I think the pizza can wait."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I like where this is going." He just stared at her, he couldn't believe his ears. He could have sworn his mind was playing tricks on him. But his mind wouldn't be kissing his neck. "Unless you're hungry."

"Not anymore." She smiled as he picked her up and carried her to the couch. He sat down and held her in his lap. She looked embarrassed, and he remembered how old fashioned she could be at the worst and weirdest of times, but the look only lasted a second before it was gone.

Curiosity of what could happen tool over her mind, she had always lobed him but never in a romantic way. Could this change that? Had it already? She knew it hadn't, nor could it. He was a conquest, a lovable conquest. Did she really want to ruin what they had? Would doing this ruin it? She loved everything about him but she wasn't in love with him. They could be happy together, but they were missing one crucial thing sheer physical attraction.

Why was she here? Why was she doing this? In the past she had made it perfectly clear that they were just friends.Whispering against her skin he broke the silence between them. "Why are you here with me?"

"Because I want to be." Her voice was clear he knew she had no doubts but he still did.

"There are a lot of other guys you could be with. Guys you have been with, and you can honestly say that you'd rather be here with me?"

"Yes, there are other guys I could be with right now. But I don't want to be with them, or even drink tea with them at the moment. Okay? When they see me I am nothing more than a game, and they are little more than that to me. They want nothing more than some one to get between the sheets, and not have a relationship beyond that. When you see me I am a friend, and equal, I am a person to you. I have feelings and thoughts and you see that. I'm not a toy to you. You know I can break. I mean something to you. That's why I'm here." She crawled off his lap to the other side of the couch. He reached for her, to pull her back. "Dammit don't touch me." He pulled her back anyway and she let him. "I don't want to take advantage of you." She wouldn't look at him. He knew if he let her think anymore this moment would be over and she'd never give him another chance. Gently he turned her head and kissed her softly and then her mind succumbed. She gave in and the night ended in his bed with his arms around her and a new beginning for them both. The perfect man for her was the one who was there all along. Who would have thought he was the perfect man for her?