No One There

The tea kettle whistled but no one was there to hear it. The radio was on but no one was there to dance. A book was open but there was no one to read it. There was tea on the floor, and no one was there to clean it up. The sun was setting into a blood red sky, no one was there to think of its beauty. Empty eyes looked into the sky that matched the colour that had run onto the floor. The lifeless face held a beauty, that no one was there to see. Even though her lips were unmoving, her frame said it all. No one was listening. Even though the room was still it was far from serene. She was gone, and there was no one was there to mourn. There was a mystery but no one was there to unravel it. The victim surrounded by her life, the attacker was gone all that was left was the footprints of the flee and an empty house. A woman who had pictures of dozens of the people in her life not only died alone, but left behind a world that had yet to realize she was gone. How long would it take? The woman who only ever wanted to just be loved, is left alone. The thief that took her life, held no malice towards her but merely took to ensure his own survival. A man who had barely known her. Yet he knew her better than anyone else. He met her in her last moments. He saw the woman she was. He saw the way she valued life, how she loved her family and friends, he heard her call out for the man she loved, and he saw her smile and forgive him as she fell. He learned what it is truly like to live. He learned how to feel pain, grief, and remorse. And he learned what it means to be human.

Challenge Two!

Choose an inanimate object to tell a story. For example a child's toy could tell an event. Or a dress could tell you about a dance. Are you up for the challenge? We'll see. The only way to know is to accept.

Love
Your Adventurous Author

Here's A Challenge! Challenge One

Dear Reader,
Here is a challenge for you. Are you ready?

Challenge: A woman's abusive husband just died. You can't express that her husband was abusive or has just died. She is looking out a window. Write about it. Leave your story in the comments! Lets share. I's amazing to see what all different ideas have for the same challenge.

Do you accept?

Sincerely Me

The Things We Say When We are Young

When we are young we say many things. Some are quite intelligent despite our age. Some are quite silly. :) We say many things. We talk of our futures the ones we hoope to have. We talk of our past of what we remember. We design our houses, our husbands, our kids. We create our lives inside of our owns heads. We share these thoughts with our girlfriends. We talk of the apartments we'd share. The colleges we go to. We share everything. Every secret and every thought.
Then we grow up. We drift apart. We lose touch. Our creativity is lost on reality. We forget the carelessness we once shared. Dream with me once more. Call me one more time. Share with me on what we hope to accomplish. Instead of the creativity we once shared we will share our view of reality. This is our life.
Once upon a time we expressed our selves through stories. Now you express yourself with yourself. Am I still niave to write my stories? To dream of what could have been? Is that so bad? I miss the times we shared. The late night. The chocolate, the laughs, the friendship, it all. I miss you. Can you believe how far we have come? Can you believe the distance we've drifted apart? Us? The people who were suppose to make it to the end. That is us. We are capable of it. We can do it. Now let's try. Let's really try. I have an idea. And I'll share it with you if you would just call me.

What You Thought was Forever

What you thought was forever
Was never more
Than a moment suspended in time
The dreams you desccribed
Can never hope to apply
The mistakes you make
The hearts you break
Could never in a million years heal your own
Broken before you realized
That the future you dreamed of was gone
You learned that love is never
true
forever
eternal
But that's not right
Love may at times be
Fickle
or Fleeting
But it still may be true
You can always trust me when I say
I love you.
If ever there was a more perfect truth spoken
then the words
I love you
Let them be forgotten
and Let us hope
for Our Happily Ever After
Forever

Yet.... I Still Love You...

Sitting on my porch I remembered all the things that had happened here. I remembered all the conversations we had shared, I remembered the touches, the sounds, the sights. I remembered everything. I remembered how happy I had been then. At the beginning and even toward the end. I remembered everything being good even when it was bad. And then it had all ended. He left. Almost without a word or explanation. Looking out from the place I had decorated and made my own I remebered his face, how he smiled, what it looked like when he cried, and when he was angry. Now I see my life in shambles for a man who never cared. He will always have piece of my heart. But never again will he have my life. Never again will he get more than a minute of my time. That man. The man who promised me the world. The man who delivered only to take it all away with out looking back. Now he's promising some one else the world. Only this time he has lost so many friends, he lost respect and loyalty and gained shams and frauds people who don't care. I can't smile at the thought because some where deep down he is a good person. He has a heart. He has a care. Somewhere. I don't know when he lost himself. But I know if he tried he could find every thing he was in me. With me, we could build our lives back up together. And as much as I'd give anything for that. I know I deserve better. I deserve more than a man who will only love me when it suits him. Why should I give him my soul if I can only have a small corner of his heart? How do I deserve that? What happened to all the people I cared about? The people I took care of with out condition? Where's the love I shared with them? How come when I need people the most they are all gone? With out a single word of comfort. I don't need them. I want them. I want to be close to the people I gave my life to. Is that so much to ask? That after all these years I can have some one to stand by me. So I'm not standing alone. But I will. I will not fall. I will stand here and build my life for me. I will do everything I promised myself I would do and I will live as I was meant to. I will wait for some one who will love me. Some one who I can love equally as they do. After breaking my heart, a thing that can never be truly broken I love you. But I will move on and I will move on with out you. If you saw me now you would see my tears you would feel my frustration and my anger. You would remember the good times we shared and you would wonder where all those times had gone. And you would know it was your fault. You alone are the reason they are gone. You would see that I gave everything and yet I still wasn't good enough. You would apologize and try to confort me. You would talk and say all the things you knew I wanted even needed to hear. You would then slowly drift away until again I was standing alone. I lived that cycle too long. I'm finally breaking free. I'm strong enough to make it with out you. I can smile and be happy I can live with out regrets for fear of what you think. I can be my own person. I can finally live! I am free! How are you? Trapt in your own lies. You are standing there surrounded by poeple who would love to see you fall. And though I am not amognst their numbers a fall would do you some good. After everyting I still love you. Finally free of you. Yet... You will always be a part of my story, my life, my heart. After every thing. I still love you. F****r.

Ode to Idiocy and Imbecils

Don't tell me it's fine and hide behind your lies
Don't you dare tell me I don't care
Don't make this my fault
It's up to you
It always has been
Don't waste your last chance
Not on this
Just rememebr that Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned
You scorned me
I'll so you fury
I'll show you what it means to lose everything
I'll show you what you're too ignorant to realize you have
You will misss us
You will regret this
You will come back
Surrender is not an option
Begging is not an option
You will wake up
You will smell the bloody roses
And you will see what it means to be loved
Love is hell
Love destroys you to make you stronger
Or are you too weak to stad again?
I never thought I was brave
But then again I never saw weakness until I met you
I am strong because I have to be
You must be strong because I am not giving you a choice
There is nothing left but forward
This is not the end
This is selfish
You would be the instrument of Hell
Are you to be used as such?
A puppet for the master?
Are you the bloody bait?
I'd be proud to say you are not
But frankly I don't know
Don't be anything less than what you are

You'll See

You never realized what I was capable of. You don't realize the enemy you made. Come and tell me everything to my face. Make the move so I can fight back. Challenge me so you learn what it means to have a fair fight. Forget words. Hit me once. I promise you it will be your only chance. If I could have finished this any other way I would. You never gave me a chance. You shut me out before I had a shot. I will never be good enough. But I can't be anything other than what I am. So you can just Eat It. Okay? Because I'm done taking all you sh*t. Yeah that's right. I'm not changing for you. And one day you will see what you missed. You will see I was good enough. I will be there on that day for you. the one person who was never there for me. I will take the punch you throw and I will throw some back. It won't change a thing. You will still hate me and I will pity you. You the person who was so lost in life, you never what there is or what there was. You constantly ran from everything avoiding the credit that rested on you. You blamed others and they bore the weight for you. Because they love you. Don't you see? Can you? Is the wool over your eyes so thick? I will end this one way or another. I will cry for you. I will stand silent as you scream and one day i will scream back. I will stand up for what I believe in. I will make you see that I am not wrong and that you are not always right. You are not above me you never will be. Never. Do you hear that? Never. I will never be under you. I may sin but that is not for you to judge. One day you will see. perhaps you will not be alone. You will not have pushed everyone away. You will find love and see your mistakes without having lost it first. Our lives will not be easy. Our mistakes never small. But we will always be friends if only just at odds. You will always have me. That I promise you.

Only A Lark? ... Never...

We are a lark
                    a test
                            Nothing more
         Nothing less

                                                                                                                                 To see how far we get

                                                                                To learn how close we can become

We don't know where this will end
                                                    or
                                                        where
                                                                  it
                                                                     will
                                                                           lead...

                                                                                                                                             Yet we follow

                                                                                                                                        None                       

                                                                                                                                    the

                                                                                                                               less

We trace steps
                      And Smile
                                     We laugh
                                                    Kiss
And feel like we belong
If only for a moment
Because this is life
We are learning
How to be loved
and love
To make mistakes
To live
You and I
Together
Not Alone
Never alone.

We are a lark
                     a test
                             a friendship
                                              a crush

We are young
Learning to become old
Growing older to understand what it means to be young
We are life

We are together
We are friends

Unlikely

"Best friends are strange creatures. They never hesitate, they are always there for you. He was, with out question, my best friend. We did everything together. He knew everything about me. I knew what his next move was before he did. Which came in handy. I could be myself around him, or more so than I was with other people. I held back from people, he didn't. He wasn't scared of them. He could've cared less than what they thought of him. He was hot. It was crazy how the girls chased him. I won't lie. I cared. We both dated, but it was never more than that. When we were alone, he would hold me. We would flirt, goof around, whatever we felt like doing. We never felt like giving it a name. We weren't ashamed not of each other. We just never made anything out of it. It wasn't until we kissed that it finally sunk in. I loved him. He told me he wasn't gonna let me go. We still acted the same around other people. They never had to know. It was just easier. There was no drama, no others in our lives. No one else compared. It was a time when I smiled often. It never ended. Eventually we graduated from high school. We never again had to walk those halls, or deal with all those people that cared too much about our lives. We had come a long way since when he first kissed me. After we walked across the stage and were handed diplomas, he kissed me, in front of everyone. It took me by surprise, we stood there laughing as every one stared and whispered. It wasn't shocking when we left for college together. It was even less so when I came home with a ring on my finger. We knew our chances. We knew how often relationships like ours don't last. I have news for you. We made it. In the end, we were together six years before we were married. And you know what else? It's been a long time since then. He's my best friend, he's the man who loves me, he's mine. Who'd of thought we'd make it? I'm glad he had faith. He never hesitated. He never questioned, he knew. He had always known. He had always loved me. I wish I had been as brave as him. I wish I could say I was like him. But my friends, that would be a lie. I was his balance. I was the calm one, I was the one that laughed and brightened the room up. I was the parent that sat up until the kids walked in the door a few hours after curfew. He would be up just to keep me company, not to yell like I did. He was my best friend. He knew me better than I knew myself. He was my other half. I loved him. I still love him. Even though he's gone, he's still in my heart. He was a good man. He made my life worth living. And now that he's gone..." The tiny old woman burst into tears. One hand covered her eyes and the other gripped a cane with white knuckles. The cane was seemingly frail and delicate like her. This woman was stronger than she appeared. She was 93. She looked up with her warm brown eyes, tears streaming down her face, and she laughed a sad laugh. "I thought I was the one that was supposed to go first? You were supposed to be the strong one." The look on her face was one you could see on a teenager. For a moment you could see back in time, to when she was young. "We were unlikely, we were different. But we were each other's, nothing can ever change that. I can never hold his hand again. I can never laugh at his jokes or tell him to turn the t.v. down. I can never tell him I love him, and have him hear me." Around her, the family she had made and brought together, stood next to the friends the couple had gathered through their lifetime. Age played no part amongst their numbers. The day was bright and cool. The spring day was dry apart from the morning dew and the tears. And all the people gathered looked to the frail woman wearing black as she cried, she stood alone next to the man that had been her husband in life. Wishing he was there with her, to get her through this. "I won't ever say goodbye, because you will never truly be gone." She turned away from the casket, away from the grave, she walked to her chair, as she sat down. She covered her face and sobbed. The picture above the shiny black casket, was a black and white, it showed the couple when they were young. They were laughing. He was handesome yet he seemed all the more so, because of the woman in his arms. She was looking up at his smiling face. It was as if she forgot that someone was taking their picture. She looked at the picture, and remembered how he had asked her to marry her as the camera clicked. All of the people that survived him, that had loved and known him, walked past the woman to say goodbye. Some stopped on the way back, they kissed her cheeks, or her hand, some patted her on the back. The children hugged her, before running off to their mothers. Couples looked at her and saw a future they hoped to have. She had a long happy life with him, it was all anyone could ask for. She loved him more than anything. That was obvious. Her children looked at their mother, and saw a broken woman, her grandchildren looked at her and saw an unbreakable woman. Everyday after that she came and sat by the grave if only for a few moments. She'd tell him she loved him, and that she missed him. Then one day after the leaves had fallen and the first snow of the year. She looked at the tombstone, with a heartbreaking watery smile. "It's my first birthday without you dear, I'm 94 today. The children came by yesterday. We all missed you. They sang your lines of the chorus. Little Missy asked where you were she's three now. Can you believe that? Our great-grandchild is three. I love you so much. I miss you with all my heart." She placed the white roses on the marble, and smiled again. "They're your favorite. I didn't forget. Winter's here dear. And Christmas is coming. I have to face that without you too. I love you." And she walked away. That was the last time she was there. A few days later, her family was there again. The same black and white sat above the back casket. But her memories were gone. The friends that were there for her husband were there for her and they cried. It was a bitter sweet moment. They had all watched her live without him, they had all watched her try. They had watched her smile and laugh. She was with him now. They knew. She wasn't without him anymore. They were sad she was gone, they were happy that she wasn't heartbroken anymore. One child stepped forward in the snow. She kneeled between the headstones, and looked at the first one. "She loved, we all saw it. She cried herself to sleep, and some times when she woke up, she forgot you weren't there. It was if she was waiting for you to walk through the door. That's how you were to us too. And now that she's gone. It's like we'll be waiting for you both. But I guess you're waiting on us. We loved you, we still do. We won't ever forget you." Like her great-grandmother, she cried. She cried there in the snow until her bestfriend picked her up in his arms and carried her to his car. As he put her down in the seat he kissed her for the first time and whispered in her ear. "I love you." And watching them from where ever they were. Was the couple from that black and white smiling, because they knew what it felt like to hear those words. And because they knew how that story was going to end.

For You Forever.

When you fall away from the world you'd think that someone would look for you. You try and hold on to the smoke of the people who had once loved you. They barely notice you're gone. They miss who you had been, yet they have no room for who you are now. So you are left to look for new faces. For new people to accept you. It's not the same it never can be. But it can be better. Because who wants to say the best years of their lives had been when they were young, instead of every moment? I want mine to be every moment. So I walk on. I find myself. I walk the line I have drawn for myself. I'll look for you, I'll find you despite who we were. I smile at the memories of you. We have grown apart, but we can grow back together. Do you remember how it had once been? Before evrything changed? Life changes we all know that. It changes us, it changes everything all around us. Yet we look for the constants that do not exist. So we smile and walk on. You will always special, and I often I find myself wishing that you still were the most important person in my life. I love you. I always have. Your disappearance is just like all the others. I told you. I was just telling you how it went. I pleaded with you to listen to hold me close. I'm sorry. I let you down. It's my fault too, I faded away from you. I tried to save myself. It was wrong. I miss you. Sweetheart... I miss everything about you. Your smile, you laugh, your temper. All of you. Everything I love about you, everything that drives me crazy. All that makes you, you. I miss that. I love that. I won't be gone for long. You can bet on that. I will always have that one corner of your heart. Just as you have mine. Always. Forever is a long time. And I always meant it. Even when life tried to change things. Forever love. For you, forever. Anything for you. Anything for forever. The smoke is heavy, but it's far away. I can look at it from afar, and not feel the pain of the flames underneath. I can look at it and remember our passions. I can smile now. And this smile is far more wise than the smile you once saw. I love you. Is that wise? To love some one who doesn't exist anymore? But then again I love who you have become.

Come Morning After Coming Home

It was a cold night, his gaze made it colder still. There was no where to go. There was nothing left for me, but him. I'm sorry of all the things that came to be that led me here. My own desparation, my mother's despair, his passion. Life's sweet challenge and adventure that tasted bitter in my mouth, my soul. He kissed me, and the chills fell away. He always did this. He made me feel safe behind the stone walls and the door I could barely open. I was weak, society demanded I be. They demanded that I be subdued, and less than that of my husband. The heat of his skin, sent waves through me. As much as he scared me, as much as I feared him. I craved him, I wanted and needed him. I hated him for it, just as I loved him for it. I never refused him, I never would. His touch was caring and sensual. As he led me down the hall to our door, to the door. It was adorned with ornate carvings. It was the door I couldn't move. He opened it with ease and led me inside. As he undid the laces, I became more than a trophy for him, I became a person once again. I became flesh to touch. I was now more than a doll dressed to impress the world, the ones above and below us. He became a husband, a friend. His smile was warming, his gaze no longer cold from the days he spent away from me. His skin was sacarred and warm as I ran my fingers over it. He pulled me against him, and held me as if I meant the world to him, as if I was the one that made him human. Maybe I was. He was my pillar of stregnth. He was my wall of protection. I was his humanity. There was my hope. I was his. He was my saviour. He kissed me again, and the world fell away. He was a man, and I was just a woman. He was no longer a lord of the far north, hidden from society by great forests and mountains. I was no longer just his lady, I no longer had nothing I had him. The fire in the room roared, and not just the one in the hearth. Come morning, the snow had fallen outside. And we were both happy in each other's arms.

The Storm

Jai rubbed up against my knee, and allowed me to pick him up. He's a good familiar. He expresses the emotions I hold back. Like right now. When I want to be held. I'm on the phone with my best friend, and we were falling apart. We'd been in love for years. We were just beating a dead horse trying to fall back in. We didn't want to give up. But what other choice did we have? So Jai and I are clinging to love and compassion, hoping it doesn't disappear. In a few days this storm will pass over. The beau and I will be inseperable again. Just like always. This rift is just like all the ones before. We will overcome. Just like always. "I love you." I hadn't expected him to say it, but he did. "I know, I love you too baby." I heard the smile in his voice "To the moon and back baby." Jai happily started swatting my hair. Maybe I should cut it, my hair. "And back." All's well. For now. That's good enough for me. The storm is gone. Everything is falling back into place.

No Matter How Close We Are

We are trouble. My friends and I. You'd think that since we live in the middle of no where, down south, that we would have nothing to do. But oh, we find stuff to do. Some of it, I am not proud of. But when you're bored there's little you won't try at least once. And like any group of friends we have our hang out spot. The old drive-in theatre. It closed back in the early nineties. It's been ours ever since. When we were little we would ride our bikes down to the playground right next to it. It still looked like a playground back then. None of kids play there now. Just us and we love to play. We like to lose track of time, and forget the boundries. When kisses melt to be something more. And friendships grow to be more than that. Now we drive there in our cars and blast our music. We fade to where ever we want. We can hang out with people if we don't want to be alone, or we can find someone to be alone with. In the deep summer daisey dukes are the norm along with mid-drift shirts for the girls. If or when guys wore shirts they were plain tight t-shirts. In our group no one was out of shape. We were all hard working, a few of us worked on farms others worked for the local moving company, or at the diner. Or we played a sport. In the end no one was hard to look at. Sure there were a few girls with some extra weight and some guys too but they wore it well. It became them in a way being thin couldn't. This was the kind of group where every one had a southern twang, drawl, accent whatever you want to call it. Most girls had long hair, so did the guys now that I think about it, or it was cut to military standards to appease the older stricter generation. Our parents acted as their parents had even though when they were our age they were worse than we were. Our ancient teachers still tell fantastic stories about the stunts our parents pulled. We had the town wrapped around our little finger. But the question was always for how long. We were careless. We loved life and we were a family. Our small group in our small town was a family. Our ties stronger with eachother than they were with our own blood. Blood it seems is not thicker than water. We played football in the cool days of fall, we had bonfires in the chilly days of winter, in spring we would stay home for reasons still unknown. In the summer we were rarely apart. Our lives were in our own little world and were just ready for it to shatter because nothing that good could last forever. No matter how close we are.

Stuck This Way.

You know. I used to be the last thing you thought about before you fell asleep, and the first thing you thought about in the morning. You used to say hey just because you missed me. What happened? I want to think it still bothers me, that I still care. It still hurts, just thinking about it. But at the same time it's a relief. I miss you and the way we used to talk. I still love you. But I'm tired of my heart breaking. Even though a heart can never really break. I want to care because you were important, you still are. But I just don't. It's like some one flipped the switch to my emotions. I just don't care anymore. Not like I did. I can't think of it being over, not when it had lasted so long. That chapter of my life is closed and I don't know if it can ever be opened again. This is bigger than any fight we have had. This is my hurtful than the words we have said. It changed us. I should say goodbye but I never will love. I'm yours. You're mine. This is how it worked for so long. We never gave up. We never really will. I love you.