She came out from behind the bend and before her was her world. The horizon was before as she drove down the hill in her beat up truck. The sun began to set in all of it's golden glory, filling the sky with deep oranges, blood reds, and the ever increasing indigos and midnight blues. She wished she had a picture of this moment. This little moment of bliss. But the moment had come and gone and all she had was a memory.
Even as she rolled down the hill, she wanted to turn the truck around and walk through that all too familiar screen door. She couldn't, like that day the relationship had to end. No matter how much she didn't want it to. He understood, he stood by and let her break both of their hearts. They both knew it was for the best. They didn't question what they had to do. Or even why.
Her tears fell down her face as she made the final turn onto the highway, when her phone rang. She didn't look to see who it was. She already knew.
"Hey..." The voice on the other end was as broken and tear stained as she knew her's would be.
"It's too early for hello's."
"I just had to tell you." He paused, but there was no suspense, she knew him too well. "I'm not ready to say goodbye just yet."
"Don't say that." She heard the sob in her own voice and wished she could be stronger. "What else could we have done?"
"Nothing. There's nothing we could have done differently. I just wanted to let you know. I wished there was a way that it didn't have to end."
"If only that was enough."
"I love you."
"And I love you."
"You're my secret I wish I could tell."
"You are my Romeo."
"And I would have died like the fool, with a smile on my face. At least my Juliette is too brave to let either of us die."
He knew she was smiling, that hear wrenching smile of beauty.
"These violent delights have violent ends. And in their triumphs die, like fire and powder, Which as they kiss consume."
"One of us had to be practical." He reasoned for her.
"No! Don't say that. I'll turn around right now if you try and defend what I've done."
"What is that? What did we ever do wrong?"
"We fell in love!"
"It happens. Look. It's not over because believe this or not my heart will always be true to you. My arms will always be open for you, and there will be a side of my bed and a chest of drawers. I know you love me, so don't deny that you would do the same. I'm saying that, knowing that is enough. I have lived to know that I have been loved and that I have loved.  You were enough to keep me going and the thought of you will continue to keep me going. Until my dying day." And with that he hung up, but just as he said he was never gone.
After that night she couldn't watch her favorite movies any more, all of them were love stories. They were too real, despite the fiction. But Romeo and Juliette she could stand to watch that. At least she was alive even if she didn't survive.

Everything He was Not.

She was the victim of her own kindness. Her own love for every other person is what destroyed her. She couldn't stand to see him hurt or alone, even though she was driven to that very state countless times, all because of him. His inability to show empathy, to even begin to understand is what destroyed a match that seemed to be invincible.
He stood next to where she sat crying, the formal gown just a reminder of all the wonderful empty promises he had made. He looked down on the woman he had driven to tears and he couldn't understand.
He had sworn she was the only one he could ever love. But how many times had she been pushed away to make room for someone else? He would often come back with words of love, and she would let him back, all the while thinking that she was the better person for giving him a chance. Every time he came back he tried to tell her how special she was, how beautiful, how kind. She didn't deserve him, he would say. She would agree silently in her head, never letting him see how truly hurt she was by his betrayals  She couldn't show weakness, she couldn't let him see how truly destroyed she was, but every now and again her mask would crack. She would yell and give him a good what for. She would scream in he own way and tell him everything she had pent up. He would apologize and act like a beat puppy until she apologized for her behaviour. But he never once apologized for his. She could't look at herself in the mirror without wondering what she was worth. She had plenty of people telling her, she was worth the world. But who was she to believe them? The only boy she had given nearly everything to had walked away? Over and over again, never looking back until he realized what he was missing, and then he would come back and leave again after he got a decent fix of feeling loved, of feeling like a normal human being.
The tears rolled down his face as he listened to her sob. He knew it was his fault, he knew there was something he could do. But she wanted him to mean everything he said, and back it up everyday. And to be honest he was just simply not capable of that. He could't guarantee her anything he sad would come true. Except that he was sorry. And she was tired of the apologies, they didn't mean a thing. He never changed, so how could he be sorry. So he left her there. There was no where else to go, and that hurt her most of all. He waited this long to leave her? He took this long to decide it was over? He was finally glad. And it hurt her that she was so happy, she didn't want to give up on him, but somewhere along the way she had given up on herself, and everything she had once prided herself on what had made he a person had fallen away and she had become everything she hated in other people. She had become sick in her soul. And she was broken. She would fix herself because no one else could. But he would never heal, and each scar that he left on her heart would be written across his own as he goes his own way with the only person that ever truly meant anything to him. She was the best damn thing in his life, and he had to walk away or she wouldn't exist at all. Her soul would die, and so would the person he loved and admired, for everything he was not.

He watched as she ran around the backyard with their tiny dalmatian. He heard her laugh as the puppy finally caught up with her. It was a laugh he knew well, one he had heard many a times at all the worst possible moments. She caught the puppy and carried him up to the porch, where her lover sat and kissed him on the lips. She pulled away smiling when the phone rang, only to saunter into the house. He knew who it was on the phone, her mother. She called every Sunday, every damned Sunday. Maybe if things had been different he wouldn't have minded, but if it had been different they wouldn't be here together. It hadn't started out ideally that was for sure. They hadn't been friends since they were kids who grew into love. No, they had met in high school. That had been a blast. She hadn't changed much since then, she still was spontaneous, indecisive, and a tease. Her hair had grown out since she impulsively decided to cut it (and man did he like it long). She still talked endlessly, unless she was a in deeply thoughtful mood. And she was her mamma's girl. He could hear her talking through the open door but he couldn't tell what she was saying. By her tone her knew she was defending every decision she made since him. She tried to explain why it worked, she couldn't and neither could he. This was not what he had planned, he wasn't supposed to be with her. It's not what she expected. He heard the puppy whine and decided to go see what was wrong. He walked in to see the tears on her face. He took the phone out of her hand, "Excuse me, my wife and I have things to do. So if you're done making her cry we'll be going now." And without another word he hung up. He wrapped his arms around her and said nothing. Sometimes nothing needed to be said.
Which for them was rare. They were the kind of couple to have full logical conversations during great sex. In fact their first time, they stopped and put their clothes back on because it was more fun to talk. Not because the sex was bad but because the conversation was so great.
But they had had this conversation plenty of times. Over the years it was always the same argument over and over again.
They had never actually dated. They simply were. They laughed, joked, made love, and lived. When they had the chance at least. They did it all until they couldn't see a future with out the other. Their parents couldn't understand, and they didn't want to explain just why exactly they were so close. So there was a small quick ceremony with the immediate family, and then they were off living their life together, their families drifting into the wings rarely heard from except during holidays or special occasions. Except her mother.
It hurt her that her family had drifted away, that they couldn't accept her. But she was going to be damned if she didn't live her life according to them. This was their life.
She let him hold her, and let all the pain go. It didn't matter. She looked at him, and the love she saw in his eyes made life seem all the better. He let her go, took her by the hand and let her back out side to the swing. There they sat and waited for the day to end. For someone else to say that they had it wrong.
Just let them try, she thought with a smile, as she held his hand for all eternity.

A Good Night

Being Close

Closer than Before

Yet the Farthest You've Ever Been

Everything

And Nothing

A Moment of Bliss

In a State of Nothingness

Each Touch a Sudden Rush

Each High Bringing a Greater Fall

Into Love

Or Farther in to Recess of Yourself

Either way is Doomed

To Last an Eternity

Or as Long as the Last Kiss

To One its Means Everything

To the Other it could Mean Nothing

Yet it Could Mean the World to Both

Worth Every Risk

Worth Every Step

Worth All the Pain

For a Chance at Something Greater

Every Year...

Every year it was the same old thing. She was surrounded by people she couldn't stand. But this year was different. This year was her year. Finally the Holidays would mean family. They weren't related by blood but they were held together by a lot more. Time had knit them together as life propelled them towards an end they couldn't see. And Finally she could spend a piece of her life with the people who made it worth living. The cold November day was just the start of the rest of her life, and it started with baking and cooking. She had been planning for Thanksgiving for days and days. She had been preparing, organizing, and designing all season for this day. Her debut so to speak. And it could have been nothing but a success. Slowly her kitchen filled with the sweet aromas, people and love. Laughter filled the air, dirty pans covered the counters and bubbles filled the sink. Life was there in the house and you could not escape the joy. As the turkey was roasting and the rest of the food was cooking the friends all ran outside. The girls had grabbed the very loved football only to be chased by all the boys. The Macy's Day Parade was on but long forgotten. They ran about the yard competeing for the best plays, celebrating the best tackles and stumbling into endzones. This was life. Finally. The timers in the kitchen brought their games to an end as they all migrated indoors to sit down for a lovely afternoon meal. All around the table they thanked God for the things God had given them, they asked for nothing and recieved more than they ever could have imagined.

The Reoccuring Nightmare

Seeing him was a shock, electric waves shot through her blood. A heat wave swept through her body as if she just shot vodka, maybe even a double shot. And memories of their nights spent together filled her mind. He offered an awkward smile and she remembered why it was over. At least for her, he had let her down. She didn't want his promises, she never asked for them, but he had promised anyway. Then he never came through. How could he do that to her? Why? He left her on her own. Did she scare him away? Did she do something wrong? She was hurt more by what had happened then he could have ever possibly been. Her,mind, body and soul were forever changed. Only his mind had been altered. He was not there when she needed him most. Bastard, yet she knew things weren't overbetween them either. She was going to strangle him until his teeth rattled and then she was going to kiss him. She was dumb if she thought things would change, Good thing she didn't expect change. Dammit. She deserved better but she was the best he was ever gonna get. Did he deserve another chance? That's the question. Would she give him one?

Chin Up, Face Down

Looking into his eyes she knew that he knew. He knew what was happening, he saw through her careful makeup and her lies. How could he? When even she couldn't? How could he see the truth when she could only tell herself that it would never happen again? And each time she wondered. Where had the love gone? She looked away to hide her shame. SHe could never tell how often she ended up on the ground after being pushed around. How she couldn't stop what was heppening to her. "How long?" he asked. "What?" Her head snapped up and again she met his gaze and finally he got a taste of the fear she lived with. "How long have you been hiding those bruises from me?" he heard her sharp intake of breath. "You thought you could hide it forever?" "I didn't know what to do." "How could you not tell me?" "How could I? I am supposef to be a strong independant woman. I can't even walk away! How could I tell you that I am not who you think I am?" "So you're taking it alone?" He didn't need an answer. "Come on. Let's go." "Where?" "To put that bastard in his place." She stopped following him but he continued on with out her. It was probably better if she wasn't there for it. He knew exactly where the bastard would be. "Hey ass hole," the bastard looked up in time for the punch. "Now you'll have a bruise to math hers. Do you feel like a man when you push her around?" The man taunted, the bastard who beat his woman. "Every action in this world will bear a consequence, if you wait around for ever you will surely drown. I see what's going down. You can't hurt her anymore. She's had enough." "Says who?" "Me, she drives me crazy. I love her. She'll never know."

No One There

The tea kettle whistled but no one was there to hear it. The radio was on but no one was there to dance. A book was open but there was no one to read it. There was tea on the floor, and no one was there to clean it up. The sun was setting into a blood red sky, no one was there to think of its beauty. Empty eyes looked into the sky that matched the colour that had run onto the floor. The lifeless face held a beauty, that no one was there to see. Even though her lips were unmoving, her frame said it all. No one was listening. Even though the room was still it was far from serene. She was gone, and there was no one was there to mourn. There was a mystery but no one was there to unravel it. The victim surrounded by her life, the attacker was gone all that was left was the footprints of the flee and an empty house. A woman who had pictures of dozens of the people in her life not only died alone, but left behind a world that had yet to realize she was gone. How long would it take? The woman who only ever wanted to just be loved, is left alone. The thief that took her life, held no malice towards her but merely took to ensure his own survival. A man who had barely known her. Yet he knew her better than anyone else. He met her in her last moments. He saw the woman she was. He saw the way she valued life, how she loved her family and friends, he heard her call out for the man she loved, and he saw her smile and forgive him as she fell. He learned what it is truly like to live. He learned how to feel pain, grief, and remorse. And he learned what it means to be human.

Challenge Two!

Choose an inanimate object to tell a story. For example a child's toy could tell an event. Or a dress could tell you about a dance. Are you up for the challenge? We'll see. The only way to know is to accept.

Love
Your Adventurous Author

Here's A Challenge! Challenge One

Dear Reader,
Here is a challenge for you. Are you ready?

Challenge: A woman's abusive husband just died. You can't express that her husband was abusive or has just died. She is looking out a window. Write about it. Leave your story in the comments! Lets share. I's amazing to see what all different ideas have for the same challenge.

Do you accept?

Sincerely Me

The Things We Say When We are Young

When we are young we say many things. Some are quite intelligent despite our age. Some are quite silly. :) We say many things. We talk of our futures the ones we hoope to have. We talk of our past of what we remember. We design our houses, our husbands, our kids. We create our lives inside of our owns heads. We share these thoughts with our girlfriends. We talk of the apartments we'd share. The colleges we go to. We share everything. Every secret and every thought.
Then we grow up. We drift apart. We lose touch. Our creativity is lost on reality. We forget the carelessness we once shared. Dream with me once more. Call me one more time. Share with me on what we hope to accomplish. Instead of the creativity we once shared we will share our view of reality. This is our life.
Once upon a time we expressed our selves through stories. Now you express yourself with yourself. Am I still niave to write my stories? To dream of what could have been? Is that so bad? I miss the times we shared. The late night. The chocolate, the laughs, the friendship, it all. I miss you. Can you believe how far we have come? Can you believe the distance we've drifted apart? Us? The people who were suppose to make it to the end. That is us. We are capable of it. We can do it. Now let's try. Let's really try. I have an idea. And I'll share it with you if you would just call me.

What You Thought was Forever

What you thought was forever
Was never more
Than a moment suspended in time
The dreams you desccribed
Can never hope to apply
The mistakes you make
The hearts you break
Could never in a million years heal your own
Broken before you realized
That the future you dreamed of was gone
You learned that love is never
true
forever
eternal
But that's not right
Love may at times be
Fickle
or Fleeting
But it still may be true
You can always trust me when I say
I love you.
If ever there was a more perfect truth spoken
then the words
I love you
Let them be forgotten
and Let us hope
for Our Happily Ever After
Forever

Yet.... I Still Love You...

Sitting on my porch I remembered all the things that had happened here. I remembered all the conversations we had shared, I remembered the touches, the sounds, the sights. I remembered everything. I remembered how happy I had been then. At the beginning and even toward the end. I remembered everything being good even when it was bad. And then it had all ended. He left. Almost without a word or explanation. Looking out from the place I had decorated and made my own I remebered his face, how he smiled, what it looked like when he cried, and when he was angry. Now I see my life in shambles for a man who never cared. He will always have piece of my heart. But never again will he have my life. Never again will he get more than a minute of my time. That man. The man who promised me the world. The man who delivered only to take it all away with out looking back. Now he's promising some one else the world. Only this time he has lost so many friends, he lost respect and loyalty and gained shams and frauds people who don't care. I can't smile at the thought because some where deep down he is a good person. He has a heart. He has a care. Somewhere. I don't know when he lost himself. But I know if he tried he could find every thing he was in me. With me, we could build our lives back up together. And as much as I'd give anything for that. I know I deserve better. I deserve more than a man who will only love me when it suits him. Why should I give him my soul if I can only have a small corner of his heart? How do I deserve that? What happened to all the people I cared about? The people I took care of with out condition? Where's the love I shared with them? How come when I need people the most they are all gone? With out a single word of comfort. I don't need them. I want them. I want to be close to the people I gave my life to. Is that so much to ask? That after all these years I can have some one to stand by me. So I'm not standing alone. But I will. I will not fall. I will stand here and build my life for me. I will do everything I promised myself I would do and I will live as I was meant to. I will wait for some one who will love me. Some one who I can love equally as they do. After breaking my heart, a thing that can never be truly broken I love you. But I will move on and I will move on with out you. If you saw me now you would see my tears you would feel my frustration and my anger. You would remember the good times we shared and you would wonder where all those times had gone. And you would know it was your fault. You alone are the reason they are gone. You would see that I gave everything and yet I still wasn't good enough. You would apologize and try to confort me. You would talk and say all the things you knew I wanted even needed to hear. You would then slowly drift away until again I was standing alone. I lived that cycle too long. I'm finally breaking free. I'm strong enough to make it with out you. I can smile and be happy I can live with out regrets for fear of what you think. I can be my own person. I can finally live! I am free! How are you? Trapt in your own lies. You are standing there surrounded by poeple who would love to see you fall. And though I am not amognst their numbers a fall would do you some good. After everyting I still love you. Finally free of you. Yet... You will always be a part of my story, my life, my heart. After every thing. I still love you. F****r.

Ode to Idiocy and Imbecils

Don't tell me it's fine and hide behind your lies
Don't you dare tell me I don't care
Don't make this my fault
It's up to you
It always has been
Don't waste your last chance
Not on this
Just rememebr that Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned
You scorned me
I'll so you fury
I'll show you what it means to lose everything
I'll show you what you're too ignorant to realize you have
You will misss us
You will regret this
You will come back
Surrender is not an option
Begging is not an option
You will wake up
You will smell the bloody roses
And you will see what it means to be loved
Love is hell
Love destroys you to make you stronger
Or are you too weak to stad again?
I never thought I was brave
But then again I never saw weakness until I met you
I am strong because I have to be
You must be strong because I am not giving you a choice
There is nothing left but forward
This is not the end
This is selfish
You would be the instrument of Hell
Are you to be used as such?
A puppet for the master?
Are you the bloody bait?
I'd be proud to say you are not
But frankly I don't know
Don't be anything less than what you are

You'll See

You never realized what I was capable of. You don't realize the enemy you made. Come and tell me everything to my face. Make the move so I can fight back. Challenge me so you learn what it means to have a fair fight. Forget words. Hit me once. I promise you it will be your only chance. If I could have finished this any other way I would. You never gave me a chance. You shut me out before I had a shot. I will never be good enough. But I can't be anything other than what I am. So you can just Eat It. Okay? Because I'm done taking all you sh*t. Yeah that's right. I'm not changing for you. And one day you will see what you missed. You will see I was good enough. I will be there on that day for you. the one person who was never there for me. I will take the punch you throw and I will throw some back. It won't change a thing. You will still hate me and I will pity you. You the person who was so lost in life, you never what there is or what there was. You constantly ran from everything avoiding the credit that rested on you. You blamed others and they bore the weight for you. Because they love you. Don't you see? Can you? Is the wool over your eyes so thick? I will end this one way or another. I will cry for you. I will stand silent as you scream and one day i will scream back. I will stand up for what I believe in. I will make you see that I am not wrong and that you are not always right. You are not above me you never will be. Never. Do you hear that? Never. I will never be under you. I may sin but that is not for you to judge. One day you will see. perhaps you will not be alone. You will not have pushed everyone away. You will find love and see your mistakes without having lost it first. Our lives will not be easy. Our mistakes never small. But we will always be friends if only just at odds. You will always have me. That I promise you.